HFCS: effika’s blog

I don’t feel well so this won’t be a very good entry. If you want happy coherent thoughts read elsewhere. :-P

Had an alright time yesterday; I talked to that guy in chemistry for a while after class. His name is Sean. He seems pretty cool.

Spent the evening with Ryan… ended up feeling used and trapped and unhappy by the end of it. We didn’t argue or anything, or do much of anything at all. It was fun mostly except for near the end of the night. I can’t explain it. Something just stopped working and it wasn’t a good time.

Ryan’s family is here for Saturday and Sunday. So I am stuck in my dorm. I feel like I’m not supposed to be with him when he tells me things like “My family’s coming into town so you shouldn’t come over here.” His family likes me, a lot. It doesn’t make me feel good to know that he doesn’t want me to drop in and say “hi,” even. Ryan doesn’t know it but I’ve been unhappy with this relationship a lot lately. That kind of behavior doesn’t help it.

Paul is gone for the weekend. So is Charles, afaik. My throat hurts so I don’t feel like giving Sean a call to see what he’s up to. I hope this isn’t strep throat, as the next time I could conceivably see a doctor is next Friday. Sure, there’s Goddard health center here for us students, but from all acounts they try as hard as they can not to take health insurance. I don’t want to pay 75+ dollars to see somebody to say “Yep, that’s strep. Go get penicillin.” If it’s still hurting by next Wednesday I’ll call my parents to get them to get me an appointment on Friday. I’ll just skip Calc and Chem if I need to and go home instead. Kea’s going out of town that weekend, so it would be a good time for Ryan and I to spend some time, but a.) he absolutely loathes spending time in my dorm and b.) he’s not really a good boyfriend right now. So I’ll go home if I need to.