HFCS: effika’s blog

Sean said to me tonight that I seemed to have a sparkle in my eye when I looked at him.

Ryan and I tried to find the Cinnabon in the metro area, only to realize after driving around for 3 hours that the Cinnabon was in Tinker AFB and wasn’t open to the public. We did take a detour and stopped at a mall in Midwest City. I got a cute and very soft plush bunny for 5 dollars at a Walden Books (they didn’t have any good books today).

While we were in the mall, Sean called. Ryan didn’t seem the happiest about it, but he was in a bad mood anyway. I, too, was in a pretty bad mood having woken up with some female difficulties. But talking to Sean perked me up. I didn’t think anything of it, Paul calling would have done the same thing.

When we got home, I was very upset (no real reason, just the emotional time of the month). Ryan treated me like crap, except for asking if I was OK a few times. I ate dinner, felt better, and went over to Sean’s. Not Ryan/Paul/Charles’s place, but Sean’s.

Sean and I had a great time. We talked and watched SNL. And then he told me that I had a sparkle in my eye when I looked at him. He was worried I was falling for him. This would be bad, as it can’t work. At least not now.

Sean is very devoted to the girl he talks to online. He told me that if we did do anything, it would have to be a good, real relationship. And he can’t do that right now. It’s like falling for a married man.

And I rushed to get home at 12, since Ryan said I should come over by then if I wanted to see him. And all he did was play Deus Ex. I wish I had stayed and talked with Sean more tonight. After he gets Internet back on Thursday he’ll be playing Galaxies and talking to his girl online and I’ll be rather out of the picture again. But right now he holds me and listens to me.

So I hope I am not falling for Sean. At least not right now.

(Ryan just called me and wondered if I called the appartment’s landline. I did not, although he didn’t seem to believe me. Today kinda taught me that maybe Ryan and I won’t get back together, at least not for a long while.)