HFCS: effika’s blog

I talked with Melissa until 7.45pm tonight. It was good for both of us. I needed a distraction so that I wouldn’t wonder if Sean was going to call (I knew he wasn’t going to, I made him late last Friday so I think I lost my priveleges). Melissa needed a distraction from the fact [...]

my car hasn’t been able to start since I got it back from the body shop. WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY DO TO MY CAR? ]]>

Static, Beck. From Mutations. It’s so easy to laugh at yourself When all those jokes have already been written Seems like another vain attempt To let yourself fall out of the oven Holy mountains They look so tired And it’s a perfect day To lock yourself inside Who you fooling if the fools are right? [...]

The part of the song that really, really gets to me is this verse: Get up from your bed of rest Been a long time since you’ve lived But the static in your mind Leaves you hollow and unkind With a shock electric wave Turns you on This is exactly how I’ve felt lately. I [...]

I haven’t been able to tell Sean how I was feeling lately because I couldn’t put it into words. I finally figured it out. I want to be treated like I’m special. I was special. I don’t know if I am now, it doesn’t feel like it to me. You’re still special to me, though. [...]

Ryan’s replacing me with some stupid mormon chick from work that I think he only likes because she’s a virgin. My stomache is killing me this morning and I don’t want to go to class but I have to b/c we’ve got a review. I just want to be Sean’s favorite again. ]]>

because people can’t read or don’t want to understand. I feel miserable. Because my body is in pain and horribly lonely right now. ]]>

So today was pretty good. Got Sims2 installed last night, despite the lack of brain function. I talked to Sean a little bit while I was figuring out how get around it thinking I was running emulation software (Oh no, I’ve got Nero installed!). I’m so, so glad he took the time to talk to [...]

I tried to go to bed at 11 tonight, then Ryan got online and started giving me shit about how I’m a horrible person and how he doesn’t want to be there for me and doesn’t want to be friends because I apparently ruin his chances with women. I don’t know why I put up [...]

Thinking of getting this or maybe this to cheer myself up. I need a new burner to complete nefarious schemes anyway. My relatively-new crappy Radio Shack one hasn’t worked since the end of July. On the other hand, my Lite-On I donated to the family’s boxen is still going strong 5 years later. Quality matters [...]

Was looking for info on my Saturn after taking it in for an oil change (now the only thing keeping me from driving to see Sean tomorrow is the fact that I know he’d hate me forever if I did it). I found this: SATURN SL-1 1/4 MILE DRAG RACING TIMES. People will put NOS [...]

Tweaked things a tad. :-) ]]>

Daily Show viewers more educated than O’Reilly Factor viewers.

This evening is one of those times that I just need somebody to hold me and calm me down. I’m all worked up and angsty and frustrated and weepy and I don’t know why. Made some tea and lit a candle or two, and now I’m watching South Park. Trying to calm myself down without [...]